These are my brother-in-law’s words:

I cannot express enough how proud I am of my 8yr old daughter. Last night she had to do something I prayed she would never have to, but she did it with a brave heart and now her and her brother are safe. She single handedly fought off two males who tried to kidnap her and her brother. They were outside playing at an apartment complex on the east side of Evansville when one white male and one black male came up and grabbed them. Her exact quote to me on what happened when I got there: “He grabbed me and I started to yell let me go! Than I cleared my mind and remembered what they taught me in school. If you ever get grabbed kick him in his privates as hard as you can until they let you go. So I did, I kept kicking him until he let go of me and he ran off, then I told my brother to kick the guy holding him but he couldn’t kick him hard enough. So I ran to him and started kicking and punching the guy until he let go of my brother. Then we ran back into the apartment.”;

One of a parents worst nightmares happened to my kids last night. I want to thank the EVSC for training my child for something I thought would never happen us, and praise my daughter more than words can say for saving her and her brothers life. Rumor has it a maroon Buick was seen in that area harassing children, and someone called and reported it with the license plate number to the police about a half hour before my kids were attacked. With prayers these low life’s will be caught and hopefully mine and your kids will be a little safer to play and enjoy the weather.

Please share this story with anyone who has kids and make sure your children know what to do incase this happens again. I’m very blessed to have such an amazing and brave little girl.

On this blog post by Rachel Evans, author of Evolving in Monkey Town, Rachel makes a summary of her reasons for leaving “church” in a list of 15 points.

As an active Christian, especially one who has been born and raised in the faith they still hold, it may be easy to condemn her as selfish (which she states herself as reason #10); however if you replace “the church” with “my church”–as in a particular place and community–I think many of the points she makes are relevant to today’s church communities; especially within the age group that she has targeted here. Here’s her list, with my response to each:

(1) I left the church because I’m better at planning Bible studies than baby showers…but they only wanted me to plan baby showers.

Perhaps the deeper issue here is proper engagement. Somebody needed ‘baby showers’ and Rachel may be a good organizer or planner, maybe she’s just plain good at getting people to show up and making sure there’s a great environment for the occasion. But what she really wants to do is Bible studies. I imagine she approached several people on this, but for whatever reason, she didn’t receive a response, nobody took her seriously, or she was plain turned down. Obviously, her alternative would be to just do it, but this leads to its own problems.

(2) I left the church because when we talked about sin, we mostly talked about sex.

It certainly feels that way. It seems that (within Catholic circles), the natural progression of the discussion around sin goes like this: mortal, venial, indulgences, abortion, contraception, divorce & homosexuality. I’m not saying that’s a fact, but it’s certainly a perception, and I think it’s a valid issue.

(3) I left the church because my questions were seen as liabilities.

I wish there was a little more explanation about what she means here. But I understand my point of view on this issue; that is if you question a decision (or decisions) of an authority figure, then your intention must be a negative one and if you question a topic that’s not easily explained or could be somehow taken the wrong way, then it is better to ignore it than open a “can of worms”.

(4) I left the church because sometimes it felt like a cult, or a country club, and I wasn’t sure which was worse.

Well, it’s a community of individuals, so this is natural. But I think the fact that this intensifies the further you go up the command chain is a concern.

(5) I left the church because I believe the earth is 4.5 billion years old and that humans share a common ancestor with apes, which I was told was incompatible with my faith.

I don’t have a dog in this fight, so it’s hard for me to comment. The way I understand it (as a Catholic), is if you are trying to come up with an alternative to God’s initial creation of the universe, then you have an incompatibility issue.

(6) I left the church because sometimes I doubt, and church can be the worst place to doubt.

I disagree with this on a macro level. I think doubt is well documented Biblically and throughout Church history. How doubt is dealt with by individuals at a micro level is another issue though. This may be linked with issue #3, doubt can be easily linked to the action of asking questions. If your questions are seen as a liability, then it’s natural to assume that it’s unacceptable to doubt.

(7) I left the church because I didn’t want to be anyone’s “project.”

I’d love to hear more about this, but by projecting my own experiences onto this statement, I have to agree about not wanting to be anyone’s project.

(8) I left the church because it was often assumed that everyone in the congregation voted for Republicans.

Not sure about leaving a church over it, but I understand the frustration.

(9) I left the church because I felt like I was the only one troubled by stories of violence and misogyny and genocide found in the Bible, and I was tired of people telling me not to worry about it because “God’s ways are higher than our ways.”

I don’t have a dog in this fight either, no comment.

(10) I left the church because of my own selfishness and pride.

Yes, and I think this is at the heart of everything. On the flip side is humility, and a large part of humility is facing reality. The reality of the situation (or situations) must be evaluated and look at your decision making process between stimulus and response. All of these reasons for leaving are uncontrollable stimuli. The response in Rachel’s case was leaving the church. Her decision making in the middle of that is not presented in detail on this blogpost, and I think that is what needs to be evaluated further by church leadership to understand better why this age group leaves their church. Everything Rachel says here is true for her and I’d say there’s a large number of other individuals who feel the same things and have disengaged from their church community, even if they have not left it.

(11) I left the church because I knew I would never see a woman behind the pulpit, at least not in the congregation in which I grew up.

I don’t have a dog in this fight either, no comment.

(12) I left the church because I wanted to help people in my community without feeling pressure to convert them to Christianity.

I understand that feeling, though in my case, I think it is largely self-imposed.

(13) I left the church because I had learned more from Oprah about addressing poverty and injustice than I had learned from 25 years of Sunday school.

This isn’t my experience, and I don’t know anything about how Oprah addresses poverty and injustice, so I cannot address this.

(14) I left the church because there are days when I’m not sure I believe in God, and no one told me that “dark nights of the soul” can be part of the faith experience.

Well, they certainly are. Though I’m sorry that nobody told Rachel this.

(15) I left the church because one day, they put signs out in the church lawn that said “Marriage = 1 Man + 1 Woman: Vote Yes on Prop 1,” and I knew the moment I saw them that I never wanted to come back.

No comment.

If it were me, and none of these issues were immovable, I’d have a hard time with any Christian belief system or community. Throughout my life from the age of 10–20, there was a lot of “church hopping” and never were issues such as these “fixed”, they were just displaced. At the age of 27 I converted from a protestant faith to Catholicism. From my perspective, if I developed serious issues with the fundamental tenets of Catholicism, whether those issues were due to individuals within the community or with the Church as a whole, my inclination would not be to convert (yet again) to another Christian religion–or to change communities–rather I would probably leave Christianity all together.

I think a lot of the problems here are rooted in the fact that many of these fundamental issues are not universally framed in a way that is readily understandable (by broadcasters in church communities), and in a way that builds an environment in which free will is given; and, as I have said before, to place where in time the decision making process happens.

Another resolvable issue here is for the church leadership to understand that these are valid, real issues that people are dealing with. Just because they don’t understand why it’s an issue, doesn’t mean we don’t know it to be an issue. It’s the responsibility of church leadership to validate, discuss and address their flock. A primary goal for any church should be full engagement from its members, and this may be time consuming and painful at times for both the church’s leadership and its members; but the benefits (I think) far outweigh the cost.

mykehurleynet:

So this isn’t the first blog I’ve written. I’ve had many over the years, some new some old. And this is the newest.

I have a book on the way, as some of you may know, so I figured it was about time I got used to doing a little more writing as practice. Additionally there are some topics or news stories that I want to talk about but don’t always get the time on the shows, so this would give me a place to do that.

For example, this news about Kevin Rose joining Google. It’s pretty well presumed by now that he’s going to be joining the Google+ team to work on bringing people on to the service. He’s clearly been very good at driving social interaction previous to this, so seems like a good fit. It’s just a shame to see that Milk has been killed off so early. I have been a fan of Rose’s for many years and always saw him as an entrepreneur with great ideas, foresight and vision and now this is lost to the world as he is giving his time over to the big Goog.

I wonder what his motivations are. Could it really boil down to something so simple as money? What does Rose think he can bring? This is something I am going to be keeping my eye on, but for now I think it might be safe to say he’ll be spending a lot more time on Plus than Twitter.

So yeah, I guess these are the types of things I’ll be talking about and maybe some reviews and such too, who knows? 

I appreciate you joining me for the ride.

a pig
in a cage
on antibiotics ∞

This is how so many of us choose to live, absorbed in our own land of make-believe, comforted by our opinions and our rightness. We surround ourselves with pundits who agree and friends who are sympathetic, we create a world that buys in so completely to our point of view that all else is completely foreign, wrong, evasive, immoral, and even damning.

Living through the proxy of politics and pundits may be enjoyable to some, but it’s rarely a way to obtain deep knowledge of the subject at hand and make it real. The connection you make with an individual: whether that connection is made face-to-face, by the written word, video, or sign language makes the issue real and alive. By living through another human’s dilemma, another human who has faced the reality of the situation, you create a connection; and no politician, no regulation, no law, no social mandate, no peer pressure can break through that connection.

To make a current issue a little more real, I offer the story of my wife (who is now the wonderful mother of our four children), in her words, as she originally wrote them at the age of 17, along with a follow up she wrote at the age of 18. This week in her high school’s newspaper, her original articles were republished along with a present-day follow up.

It’s been stated many times that there is a space between stimulus and response, and it is choice that resides within this space. At the heart of many current debates is the question of where in the process this choice exists, but this is the story of her choice, her courage and integrity, even humility to look reality in the face and make a decision:

“Becky? Come on in my office for a minute,” said the social worker. I followed her inside the room.

“Well hun,” she said, “you’re pregnant. It didn’t take two seconds for the chemical to come up quick and strong. How do you feel? I need you to fill out some forms, okay? Are you pleased? Are you considering an abortion? How will your parents react? Do I need to send someone with you to protect you when you tell them? Let me describe some financial aid programs to you.” She droned on and on, while I mumbled answers I couldn’t hear. I felt numb and dazed.

Julie and Mindi knocked on the door. They couldn’t stand the suspense. Total disbelief slowly crossed my town friends’ faces as I said the dreaded words. All three of us left in odd emotions, a mixture between confusion, dread, excitement, and laughing hysterics. We went our separate ways from the parking lot. I had to get to work; I was already late. Can you imagine going straight to work after such news?

When I got off work, I went to my boyfriend’s house and told him. He wanted to get married and have me move in with his family. The following Sunday, Palm Sunday to be precise, I told my parents.

My parents begged that I wouldn’t rush into marriage. They said, “Just separate for a month or two, so you can think things through.”

I look back now at how immature and irresponsible I was. I didn’t want to listen to my parents. Then I woke up one morning and began to think about my life and where I was headed. How could I have lowered my standards and myself so low? How could I have gone against the teachings of my church and parents?

I decided I would break up with the father of my baby and give my baby something I couldn’t: two mature, loving parents, a nice home, a steady income, and a stable lifestyle. This was the most difficult, yet best decision I’ve ever made. I’ve doubted it a few times but the advantages far outweigh the doubts. I continue to make choices concerning my baby’s future every day. The doctor told me my baby will be a girl. I’ve also received pictures of and information on the adoptive couple. I’m learning about my delivery through my Lamaze classes. Still, the worst is yet to come: giving birth and signing the document that terminates my parental rights.

I’ve matured very quickly through all of this, yet I realize I still haven’t reached my full maturity. I wonder if one ever does. My life will never be the same, due to a wrong choice I never should have said yes to. I will live with the consequences of my decision until I part from this world. Despite the ache in my heart, there is a bundle of intense, warm love and joy knowing I’m giving my baby the best life possible, and two complete strangers a gift so precious I can hardly comprehend.

I live by the believe that the unborn baby always comes first. The baby didn’t “choose” to be conceived; the parents chose to take the risk. If any teen finds themselves in such a predicament such as mine, please seriously consider adoption.

September 16:

I wrote the above letter when I was 7 months pregnant. I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on November 16, 1997. She weighted 8 lbs. and was 21.5 inches long. I named her Anna Marlene which means “God’s favored one” and “courageous mother.” I can’t think of a more fitting name. The adoptive parents received Anna on December 19, the Friday before Christmas. I can only imagine the parents’ joy. I’m moving on with my life now. I’ll always be her mother, but I’m content knowing that as a mother, I did the best I could for my child.

Dark time for Catholicism | theage.com.au:

“The church can’t assume people will stream into schools and parishes to be evangelised - we need to go get them, reach out to the general culture.”

Japan tsunami pictures: before and after - The Big Picture - Boston.com:

“All the city officials from one section came out and tried to help me. They stared at the picture all together but still couldn’t figure it out. One young woman, also working at the city hall, then shouted: ‘I got it!’ She pointed out a tiny building in the background that was under construction, and said, ‘I know the building.’”